Sometimes I hate having a conscience

Little did I know that blogging has a serious history of getting people fired from their jobs.

Funny how I should be a little more worried about being fired for blogging from work, about work, when instead I am scared to hurt my mother's feelings.

That being said, I regret to inform you that I have chosen to remove the posts involving the woman who birthed me for fear of hurting her feelings if she is to ever find out about this blog.

When I really should have been paying more attention to the reason for the season, I have instead been spending a lot of time contemplating my reasons for blogging. I came to the conclusion that not only is writing on this site an attempt to keep all my far away friends updated, it is also a way to vent and share my feelings and struggles (as displayed in my masthead above). What I struggle with is hurting people's feelings via this site and my posts. I don't want to push people away because of what I write about - I want people to be drawn to my posts and perhaps share them with their friends, who will share them with their friends (you get the idea).

However, I also want to remain honest in my blogging. As I mentioned in the post regarding my small group girls, they know that they are fair game for a topic of my blog and respect that (shoot, they all have myspace and xanga - they know the drill). Perhaps if the matriarch of my family ever finds out that I could possibly be writing about her crazy antics, she will be more self-aware of her actions toward me.

In the mean time, I am maintaining my original committment NOT to share with my mother that I have begun using this blog as an outlet for my feelings, but I have come to accept that it is inevitable she will find out about it eventually (probably having just a little something to do with the fact that I included the address to the site in the Christmas letters I sent to all my extended family members).