I have struggled to motivate myself to write this next post as it is a very sensitive, personal issue for me. I want to share about it, because otherwise I am not being honest with you and will jeopardize my goal for this blog. On the other hand, I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with the female students I love and spend an enormous amount of emotional energy on trying to show them the amazing grace of God and how they, too, can experience it. I am not going to publish any of the young ladies’ names, but I am going to be honest with my concerns about the group and the lack of direction I am currently experiencing regarding the approach I need to take with this small group.
I refer to this as a “personal” issue, because that is exactly what it is. I will be the first one to admit that my teenage years were absolutely miserable – probably even worse than my senior year of college at the onset of my depression. I absolutely cringe every time I hear someone say, “high school is the best years of your life!” Seriously, that comment creates in me an almost-uncontrollable urge to purge whatever Smart Ones® frozen lunch I may have had that day on the spot (I still refer to high school as my own “personal hell”). Obviously I have some issues with my teenage years that go deeper than most people think is normal (and it goes beyond the feather I used to wear at the end of a tiny braid in the back of my hair and my Sheltie sweatshirt). Therefore, I have carried with me throughout the last 10 years (my reunion is next October, people!) a personal crusade to share my irritation with teenage girls and to try and instill in them the strength to get through high school without emotional scars or physical reminders of poor decisions based on a weak relationship with Jesus Christ. It is for this reason that I was thrilled to have the opportunity to lead a high school girls’ small group.
This year has been different, though. The girls in this group have deep histories, and because most of them visit this site regularly, (only after acknowledging that it wasn’t “boring”), I will obviously not go into detail regarding the pasts of these girls in order to respect confidentiality. However, they do know that they are fair game for writing topic of this blog, due to the emotional investment I have in them and their lives.
What I want for these girls is freedom. Freedom from the lies and deceit the world highlights on a daily basis. I want them to take seriously the issues of sexual promiscuity and sexual identity and the dangers of being complacent with the secular world. I want Jesus Christ to be their best friend, and although the strongest faith in the world is not going to defeat the beasts of temptation, jealousy, and lust, a personal relationship with Christ will make it easier to battle.
As a sophomore in high school, I remember the night I gave my life to the Lord. I sat in my upstairs bedroom on the aquamarine carpet (I matched the color to a birth stone ring I had), in front of the bed with the creamy ruffled comforter and matching pillow shams and floral wall paper, and cried for a friend; a friend who was crying because she wanted so much to be with a boy who did not share the same affections for her. I prayed to God to take the same desires away from me and for my focus to be on Him and His will for my life. A weight lifted from me immediately. I did not want the burden of knowing a boy’s feelings toward me would make or break me. I wanted to be stronger than that, and I was. I still struggled with poor body image, and the stress of doing well in class, but I believe my faith in God kept me from ever suffering from an eating disorder, or from becoming promiscuous, or from doubting my sexual orientation. Above all, my emotions were protected and I am a better person now because I do not have the scars from the war that was the high school years.
What makes me afraid right now, for the girls in my small group, is their blatant disregard for the seriousness of the issues they are faced with. Sexual orientation does not change with the wind, and is something that should not be toyed with. Premarital sex is not an accomplishment, and it does not put you on higher ground than someone who still has the gift of sexual purity. Lying to and being violent with ones parents is not alright, it is a violation of God’s commandments. These topics of conversation are not casual – they are serious, sad, stressful, and not simply an opportunity for someone to find a place in the world. The only way to find to a place in this world is by making a commitment to know God better, to know how to walk in His path and to put all trust in Him.
Our group is going to be working through the book, Wanting to Be Her, by Michelle Graham.
Michelle, and her husband, are the leaders of InterVarsity at Northern Illinois University, and were when I was a student there, as well. Michelle has always been passionate about finding true positive body image in the Lord and it is my prayer that by going through this book with the girls, they will start to see how divinely special and beautiful they are as God’s creations.
I refer to this as a “personal” issue, because that is exactly what it is. I will be the first one to admit that my teenage years were absolutely miserable – probably even worse than my senior year of college at the onset of my depression. I absolutely cringe every time I hear someone say, “high school is the best years of your life!” Seriously, that comment creates in me an almost-uncontrollable urge to purge whatever Smart Ones® frozen lunch I may have had that day on the spot (I still refer to high school as my own “personal hell”). Obviously I have some issues with my teenage years that go deeper than most people think is normal (and it goes beyond the feather I used to wear at the end of a tiny braid in the back of my hair and my Sheltie sweatshirt). Therefore, I have carried with me throughout the last 10 years (my reunion is next October, people!) a personal crusade to share my irritation with teenage girls and to try and instill in them the strength to get through high school without emotional scars or physical reminders of poor decisions based on a weak relationship with Jesus Christ. It is for this reason that I was thrilled to have the opportunity to lead a high school girls’ small group.
This year has been different, though. The girls in this group have deep histories, and because most of them visit this site regularly, (only after acknowledging that it wasn’t “boring”), I will obviously not go into detail regarding the pasts of these girls in order to respect confidentiality. However, they do know that they are fair game for writing topic of this blog, due to the emotional investment I have in them and their lives.
What I want for these girls is freedom. Freedom from the lies and deceit the world highlights on a daily basis. I want them to take seriously the issues of sexual promiscuity and sexual identity and the dangers of being complacent with the secular world. I want Jesus Christ to be their best friend, and although the strongest faith in the world is not going to defeat the beasts of temptation, jealousy, and lust, a personal relationship with Christ will make it easier to battle.
As a sophomore in high school, I remember the night I gave my life to the Lord. I sat in my upstairs bedroom on the aquamarine carpet (I matched the color to a birth stone ring I had), in front of the bed with the creamy ruffled comforter and matching pillow shams and floral wall paper, and cried for a friend; a friend who was crying because she wanted so much to be with a boy who did not share the same affections for her. I prayed to God to take the same desires away from me and for my focus to be on Him and His will for my life. A weight lifted from me immediately. I did not want the burden of knowing a boy’s feelings toward me would make or break me. I wanted to be stronger than that, and I was. I still struggled with poor body image, and the stress of doing well in class, but I believe my faith in God kept me from ever suffering from an eating disorder, or from becoming promiscuous, or from doubting my sexual orientation. Above all, my emotions were protected and I am a better person now because I do not have the scars from the war that was the high school years.
What makes me afraid right now, for the girls in my small group, is their blatant disregard for the seriousness of the issues they are faced with. Sexual orientation does not change with the wind, and is something that should not be toyed with. Premarital sex is not an accomplishment, and it does not put you on higher ground than someone who still has the gift of sexual purity. Lying to and being violent with ones parents is not alright, it is a violation of God’s commandments. These topics of conversation are not casual – they are serious, sad, stressful, and not simply an opportunity for someone to find a place in the world. The only way to find to a place in this world is by making a commitment to know God better, to know how to walk in His path and to put all trust in Him.
Our group is going to be working through the book, Wanting to Be Her, by Michelle Graham.
Michelle, and her husband, are the leaders of InterVarsity at Northern Illinois University, and were when I was a student there, as well. Michelle has always been passionate about finding true positive body image in the Lord and it is my prayer that by going through this book with the girls, they will start to see how divinely special and beautiful they are as God’s creations.
1 comment:
Hey friend!!
Hey cool post!!Hehe in a way maybe.Well think of it this way.Maybe we really do think its serious(just guessing)but its easier not to so we joke about it.Lets just say its easier to joke about something serious that it is to actually like yea!!Anyway.Aw this is soo cool and it kinda goes along with ur post(kinda)so yea.OK so theres a boy thats really hot on day in the summer so he decides to go into a swimming hole behind his house and left his shirt and shoes there.Ok so he flew into the water not realizing as he swam deeper into the lake there was an alligator was swimming towards the shore.His father working in the yard saw it as they got closer annd in utter fear he runs toward that water yelling to his son.Hearing this the little boy got scared and made a u turn.Too late and just as his father reached him and grabbed his arms the alligator grabbed his legs.And that began an incredible tug of war between the 2.The alligator was much stronger but the father was to pasionate to let go.A farmer driving by heard the screams and grabbed his gun and shot the alligator.So after weeks and weeks and weeks in the hospital the boy survived but his legs were extremely scarred but the vicious attack of the animal.And on his arms were deep scratches where his fathers fingernails dug into his skin to hang on to the one he loved.The reporter who interviewed the boy after asked if he would show his scars.The boy lifted his pant leg and then in obvious pride he said to the reporter "But look at my arms.I have great scars on my arms too.And I have them because My daddy didnt let go.
Heck yes man!!But ok i think everyone could relate to that story in a way.We all have scars and some have caused us deep regret.But some are because God refused to let go.He was holding us the whole time.So yea.Lifes deffinatly not easy and we all have battles and theres times when theres tug of wars going on.But Im kinda glad I have scars on my arms cuz that just means God didnt let me go!!So yea A friend gave me that story and I thought I would tell it to u to cuz yea!!!Sorry it was soooo long!!!!!!!!
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